j_dot3

I've become so lazy.
I have no motivation what-so-ever.
I don't even know how to motivate myself.
I sit in class and I wonder what it is I'm even doing there.
Why am I spending the time and money to be there if I'm not going to be there, you know?
It's so hard to concentrate!
I feel like I'm just wasting time.
I don't even know what I want to do for sure!
I feel like my life is in shambles and I have no idea how to fix it.
What the hell am I suppose to do with my life? My time?

UGH! I am SO bored! It's freaking 2:30 in the freaking morning and I have nothing better to do than post a freaking journal entry.

I feel like grabbing someone and shaking them hard just because I can, but everyone is a sleep now.

And I want a book to read! A really good book. One that i can really get into. I have 5 books in my closet that I haven't read yet, but I don't wanna read those yet. And the book I'm reading now is kinda hard to get into, but I started so now I have to finish it. I hate leaving things undone. It bothers me so much!

I guess I should go to bed now. "*shrug* Before someone wakes up, I guess.

Oh, it's YOUR turn now!

So here goes. . .




And because I KNOW you LOVE surprises, this is for you. . .


You. . .

gotta. . .

keep. . .

scrolling. . .

down. . .

down. . .

down. . .

down. . .

down. . .

down. . .

down. . .

down. . .

down. . .

down. . .


aaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnd


Now!!



It's a cake!! Lol!

Enjoy it!!!

Oh, and one other thing. . .




I do!!!

Happy birthday, Kristine!! I miss you!




That was suppose to be a kiss from me to you, lol!

I haven't really been myself lately. I've been tired for weeks. I haven't been getting much sleep. I'm trying so hard to get myself together because the semester is almost over.

I don't feel confident about my grades at all. The only class I think I might be doing good in is English.

Bio is just horrible, I know it. Astronomy was ok, but my latest test was just. . .sigh. . .and Philosophy. . .well, I thought I did really well on my 1st exam , but it wasn't at all what I expected when I got it back. The second test I'm not too sure about either and then instead of a final, we have to write a paper, which I'm not all too confident about either. And my Feature Writing class. . .not the best.

I want so much to better myself. I've just slacked off so much and now I'm paying the price. I want to better my grades, you know. I hope to leave the school and go somewhere new. I'm afraid that where ever I apply (Hunter) will look at my grades and just toss me aside because I've done so bad.

I don't know.

I'm not happy at all. I'm stressing so much about that and on top of all that, I'm working. I feel like I barely have time to do anything. I'm suppose to be doing an assignment right now, but I just can't. I feel so drained. . .almost as if the energy is being sucked out of me. I'm surprised I have the strength to even type this right now.

*sigh* I need a break. I need a really good, nice, long break. I'm afraid that I'll collapse if I don't get away soon.

Just my freakin' luck, man!! I'm upset and angry and I wanna cry!

I went to my English class today and I sat around waiting for the Professor to show up and when she finally gets there. . .my day goes down the sh*ter (sorry for curing). I could almost HEAR the toilet flush. It was my professor from the English class I took last semester, which I HATED!

As soon as I saw her walking through that door, all I thought was, "No, no, no, no, no, no. . ." and then I felt like crying.

She's a nice lady, don't get me wrong. It's just that. . .her class was so. . .not what I expected last semester and her grading was just so. . .weird. I don't even know how to explain it, but I LOVED English before going into her class and then it kinda lost something AFTER her class. I just didn't like her class and she's not exactly my favorite person, you know?

*sigh* I'm stuck with her again.

Just a little upset. It was my first day back yesterday. . .school. BLEH!

It wasn't all bad. . .I guess, but I felt it could've gone so much better, you know? I didn't even see all of the people I made friends with in the first semester. I saw two of them. One of which I got the chance to talk to for a little, but because we both had to get to our next classes, we didn't get to talk for long.

I just kinda wanna cry!

Well, I got a few laughs in Astronomy. The Professor was really cool and he makes it all seem very interesting. Same goes with my Philosophy Professor.

I think the teachers make the class good or bad, you know? And so far I think those are the two classes I'm gonna enjoy most.

Bio seems like it's going to be hell. The teacher is nice, but she's just. . .I dunno. . .a little lame. Lol! She has this laugh, that sounds just a little forced and she laughs at things she does or says that no one else laughs about. Lol!

And my Feature Writing class. . .well, I'm a little intimidated by my classmates and teacher. They know what they're doing and they seem so much more. . .experienced. I feel like I'm not in the same league!

Two of the students there are editors from the school newspaper and two of my other fellow classmates also work with them on the paper as reporters and whatnot. Then there are three other students that took the Journalism class that probably should’ve been required to take before the one I’m taking now, which probably would’ve been better for me except for the fact that it wasn’t offered this semester. *shrug* I just winded myself with that. Lol!

And the Professor! She’s been a journalist for YEARS! She’s done freelance work for five years, going back and forth for newspapers and magazines. She worked on her High School paper and her community paper growing up and she’s had internships and jobs for all kinds of newspapers from here to Seattle (where she grew up)! She’s a hell of a lot more experienced then anyone I’ve ever met.

I just hope my English class won't be so bad on Wednesday. I'm not looking forward to it. If it's anything like the English class I took last semester, I'm not gonna like it.

*sigh* Oh, well.

I'm a little upset. . .and disappointed.



I won't be going to the city today. *sigh*

Oh, well. It's really not that big a deal. . .I guess.

The whole reason I was going was to spend some time with a friend of mine who had come from New Hampshire. I hadn't seen her for a while because of school and today is her last day. But I'll still be seeing her. Just not for very long.

It's not all bad, I guess.

. . .

Hey, hey, hey!

I love saying that.

Anyway. . .I'll be off to the city tomorrow or rather later today since it's already 1:16 AM. I plan on having a lot of fun. It's my day off!!

I'm SUPER excited!!

Lol! Aaaand now I'm off to bed.

^_^

Hello. . .



Uh. . .

This is the very first time I'm writing an entry. . .can you tell?

Um, yeah. . .pretty neat place. Lol!

It's kinda weird. I'm so use to writing in an actual journal, but this isn't bad. It's actually easier, though I can't imagine anyone ever wanting to read my journal. . .and I can't believe I put up a journal for display! Lol! I don't like doing that.

Whatever.

So, uh. . .yeah. . .I don't like my school and work is awesome. I love my job at f.y.e. because all the people there are awesome. I feel like I've been part of the crew since the beginning. I'm really getting along fine there.

Anyway, it's pretty late and my eye are getting heavy.

Night, night. ^_^